Archive for the ‘Noodle Bag’ Category

Punctilious Perfidy to Influence People

Do you think that people who are consistently being fools know that they are being fools and just can’t get their egos to shut down long enough to stop? Like, if they keep doing it as if they believe it is wicked smart and that they obviously know something that you don’t, you will suddenly lose faith with your own judgement and finally believe that they must have been right all along?

I worked, for most of my professional career, in the marketing arena, spending much time focused on teaching sales people how to move to the inside position with their main contacts and get them to help you “swim upstream” to decision makers. In process I paid close attention to body language (who hasn’t) and how to subtly manage it, them and myself. I discovered way early in life that focus such as this is a two-way street and so every time this kind of thinking arises I immediately turn it around to how the other might be “reading” me and my subtle “tells”.  This kind of “meta-thinking”, if done carefully, can lead to breakthrough science! I fought hard to develop (for example stuff like) “liar’s eyes” so that on occasion of noticing that a contact was “reading” I would tell a “colorful” truth and show “liar’s eyes” or “incomplete conclusion”. Then as the veracity of my “colorful” truth(s) became obvious he/she would “realize”  that their readings were incorrect and that those “tells” were, in fact, truth signals when I thought things were important or significant.

I read once an old Moroccan proverb that said:
” You say you are going to Fez.
  When you say your are going to Fez you are not going to Fez.
  I know, however, that your ARE going to Fez!
 Why do you lie to me who is your friend?”

Culture is a complicated thing at best and sharing, as best we can, is a true tonic and food for the spirit. 

Enthusiasm & Stuff

Don’t be humble arbitrarily; be humble when you need to be. Find out when that is from “school” and from practice.Think more of yourself and there is more of you. A person who lacks enthusiasm never develops it in another. Results come in proportion to enthusiasm applied. Enthusiasm is simply “This is great! Here’s why.”

Three steps to its development:

Dig into it deeper. Know it thoroughly from all sides and angles. Make it your own.

In everything you do Life it up.
      I’m GLAD to see YOU again.
      How ARE YOU??

Broadcast good news. Everyone ramps up attention for a good news broadcast.
Remember the Eric Fromm quote. “Man seeks for drama and excitement; when he cannot get satisfaction on a higher level he creates for himself the drama of destruction.”

Be the voice of good, uplifting thoughts and feelings.
     I love you.
     I am so glad to see you.
     I believe in you.
     I knew you could do it.
     Wow you sure aced that one.
     Nice job.
     Well done.
     I was thinking of you yesterday and brought this quote along for you.
     You are going to be great at this.
     What do you think of this idea?
     I need your opinion on this.
     Thank you so much for your input.
     I value your comments.
     I know we can do this and I am excited about the opportunity.

Don’t hog glory; invest it. Praise is power. When you get praise, share it.

Make a Johari window chart and keep it current. Understand and refocus your interpersonal relationships with those who most affect.

Get your family on your team. Give then planned attention. Don’t suffer over them and make them painfully aware of the sacrifices you make for them. Plan little, inexpensive but thoughtful surprises of attention. Include them in all that you do. Make them a vicarious part of the life you spend away from them. Seek their advice and tell them how you used it when you do.

Always be willing (eager) to take on more – capacity is a state of mind. Taking on more is how we grow. It forces better management of resources in those that are wicked smart.

Don’t delegate to shift blame for failure; delegate for growth/success now and in the future. Practice managing “without portfolio”. Getting people to do things for you and having great judgment about what to do are the two most useful (and telling) management credentials. Come by your authority by virtue of your value to those who fall within its scope. Take charge of what you do and assume that all around you want it, themselves and you to succeed.

Say “you” and “we” far more often than you say “I”.

Develop the practice of referring to what you are working on as “our” efforts and anything related to the town office, NCC or Newport as “we” or “us”.

Phones could sound like this: “Jerry Connelly at Newport.”

The Municipal Facility and its denizens are Newport to those who need to deal with “it”. Make “it” live.

Change the scope and promise of all that is you…live larger, be larger. Let pettiness fall away as you move forward. Let all who come within your ken know you for your grandness, your uplifting attitude and your infectious positivism. Believe it – do it! Say it so – make it so. Quiet confidence, self discipline and emotional control.

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